A major revision of the classic divorce prevention book, with up-to-date research and inclusive content
Fighting for Your Marriage is based on the widely acclaimed PREP approach (Prevention and Relationship Education Program). Research has found that couples who use these strategies can handle conflict more constructively, protect their happiness, and reduce the odds of breaking up. Based on more than 40 years of evidence, this book shows couples how to talk more and fight less, protect their friendship, and keep the fun alive. You'll learn what it takes to have a more intimate, sensual relationship and how to clarify and act on priorities.
The 4th Edition has been substantially updated with advice for couples from a wide range of backgrounds and types who are interested in lasting love. The authors have included a wealth of techniques and down-to-earth guidance for all couples who seek to promote greater connection and pleasure in their long-term relationships.
After reading the 4th edition, you will be able to:
Apply up-to-date, research-backed strategies, using the renowned PREP approach to deepen your relationships Rekindle your marriage and bridge the emotional distance that has grown between you and your spouse Repair your or your partner's lack of desire for sensual and sexual connections Get research-based advice for enhancing and strengthening relationships for people who are interested in lasting love
For decades, this book has helped couples in serious relationships, newly married couples, and long-term married couples. It is also a valuable resource for couples and family therapists, college professors, clergy, and other professionals working with diverse individuals and couples who want to have happy, healthy relationships.
Acknowledgments xi Introduction 1 Part 1 Understanding the Risks on the Road to Lasting Love 9 1. The Three Keys for a Great Relationship 11 2. Destructive Patterns: Signs of Danger Ahead 19 3. Changing the Dance: Counteracting Communication Danger Signs 39 Part 2 Teaming Up to Handle Conflict 55 4. When What You Heard Isn’t What I Said: Understanding Filters in Communication 57 5. What’s Love Got to Do with It? 71 6. Talking Without Fighting: The Speaker Listener Technique 83 7. Controlling the Home Fires: Handling Issues and Events 101 8. New Perspectives on Problems and Problem-Solving 119 9. Ground Rules for a Great Relationship 137 Part 3 Enjoying Each Other 147 10. Staying Friends and Having Fun 149 11. Being There: Supporting One Another in Life 167 12. Sensuality and Sex: The Magical Art of Touch 183 13. Why You Can’t Always Get What You Want: Unraveling the Mysteries of Expectations 199 14. Beliefs, Values, and Life Experiences: Navigating Differences and Cultivating Connection 217 Part 4 Staying the Course 235 15. Forgiveness: Restoring Hope 237 16. Commitment in an Ever-Changing World: Staying on the Wonderful, Winding Path 257 17. Moving Forward 275 Getting More Help 281 Resources Regarding PREP 287 References by Chapter or Theme 289 About the Authors 313 Index 317
Howard J. Markman, PhD, is a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of Denver and the founder of the internationally known evidence-based couples relationship education program, PREP (Prevention and Relationship Education Program). Scott M. Stanley, PhD, is a research professor at the University of Denver, specializing in research on commitment, relationship development, and prevention. He has been involved in the development of PREP for over 30 years. Galena K. Rhoades, PhD, is a research professor and the director of the Institute for Relationship Science in the Department of Psychology at the University of Denver. She also founded a nonprofit in Denver called Thriving Families and is a practicing clinical psychologist. Janice R. Levine, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples relationships and family development. She is coauthor of three books, founder of The Couples Health Program and is featured as a Top Doc in the Best in Massachusetts magazine.