We all know how this ends: Lessons about life and living from working with death and dying

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Anna Lyons Louise Winter

We all know how this ends

Lessons about life and living from working with death and dying

Anna Lyons, Louise Winter

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English

Green Tree
30 August 2022

Sociology: death & dying; Terminal care nursing; Coping with death & bereavement

'Wonderful, thoughtful, practical' - Cariad Lloyd, Griefcast

'Encouraging and inspiring' - Dr Kathryn Mannix, author of Amazon bestseller With the End in Mind

End-of-life doula Anna Lyons and funeral director Louise Winter have joined forces to share a collection of the heartbreaking, surprising and uplifting stories of the ordinary and extraordinary lives they encounter every single day.

From working with the living, the dying, the dead and the grieving, Anna and Louise reveal the lessons they’ve learned about life, death, love and loss. Together they’ve created a profound but practical guide to rethinking the one thing that’s guaranteed to happen to us all. We are all going to die, and that's ok. Let's talk about it.

This is a book about life and living, as much as it’s a book about death and dying.

It’s a reflection on the beauties, blessings and tragedies of life, the exquisite agony and ecstasy of being alive, and the fragility of everything we hold dear. It's as simple and as complicated as that.

By: Anna Lyons, Louise Winter
Imprint: Green Tree
Country of Publication: United Kingdom
Dimensions: Height: 234mm, Width: 153mm,
ISBN: 9781399402880
ISBN 10: 1399402889
Pages: 304
Publication Date: 30 August 2022
Audience: General/trade , ELT Advanced
Format: Paperback
Publisher's Status: Active

Introduction This book begins at the end We really need to talk about death and dying Why we really don’t want to talk about it The Life. Death. Whatever. manifesto What is Five Things? What is Unsaid? Death & dying Can doulas be part of the future of end-of-life care? Why I became an end-of-life doula How to become an end-of-life doula What does a good doula look like? From doula to patient and back again When you’re first diagnosed Debunking the myths of palliative care and hospices Getting the most from your consultations with your doctor and specialist Sex and intimacy are still just as important when you’re unwell Dying doesn’t look like it does in the movies How to be there for someone when they are dying Preparing for death: doing your death admin Making funeral arrangements in advance Different places to die COVID-19: A pandemic in our lifetime ‘Out of order’ death Baby Amy The toll illness can take on relationships Assisted dying A matter of life and death The undeniable beauty in the impermanence of life Funerals Why I became a funeral director Not all funeral directors are the same How to choose a funeral director DIY funerals Seeing the person who has died can be a profound and meaningful experience What really happens after someone has died? Why would I want to see someone after they’ve died? Allowing children to do what is right for them Why funerals really matter How to have a good funeral Funerals & COVID-19 Planning your own funeral Ask a funeral director anything A truly poetic ending Grief What is grief? Your life after their death – the things we want you to know about grief Growing around grief Grief SOS How to support a grieving friend What to say when you don’t know what to say When a partner dies Grief lasts a lifetime We need to talk How to talk about death and dying How to talk to children about death, dying and grief All that’s left Unsaid Words left unspoken Life & living Regret This could be the last time The essentials of self-care Kintsugi: emotional damage and repair Everything we’ve learned about life and living from working with death and dying Get involved with Life. Death. Whatever. The dictionary of death & dying Resources & recommended reading Acknowledgements Index About the authors

Louise Winter is a progressive funeral director. Together with Anna Lyons, an end-of-life doula, she is behind the book We All Know How This Ends, and the Life. Death. Whatever, initiative, a new approach to death and dying. Their joint mission is to redesign the dialogue around death and dying, to open it up and to find new approaches to this important subject. They believe that death is a normal part of life and dying is part of living. Acknowledging and accepting that one day we will die is fundamental to living a full life. Anna Lyons is an end-of-life doula. Together with Louise Winter, a progressive funeral director, she is behind the book We All Know How This Ends, and the Life. Death. Whatever, initiative, a new approach to death and dying. Their joint mission is to redesign the dialogue around death and dying, to open it up and to find new approaches to this important subject. They believe that death is a normal part of life and dying is part of living. Acknowledging and accepting that one day we will die is fundamental to living a full life.

Reviews for We all know how this ends: Lessons about life and living from working with death and dying

wonderful -- Cariad Lloyd * Griefcast * encouraging and inspiring * Kathryn Mannix, palliative care doctor and author of With The End in Mind * We don't have to think about death and dying all the time but when we want to - or are forced to - how wonderful to have a manual to sustain and guide us through it all * Sarah Brown * This book is one of the most important I’ve ever read. I couldn’t put it down * Clemmie Telford * A truly compelling read that proves why it is so desperately important that we speak openly about death; of others' and the prospect of our own * Elle Wright * Kindness, wisdom, and sensible advice for grappling with our common fate * Caitlin Doughty * Anna Lyons and Louise Winter are no strangers to death. Between them, they have years of experience working closely with the dying and the bereaved. In their book Life. Death Whatever. Lyons and Winter blend practical information with compassionate advice which at times is less about dying and more about living. Full of real-world advice and hard-won insight, this is an honest, touching, and essential guide for each and every one of us for whom 'death is the future' * Lindsey Fitzharris, bestselling author of The Butchering Art * This book is a total breath of fresh air and so needed for anyone who thinks dying isn’t going to happen to them because, um, it is. It’s a guide to death and dying that won’t scare the hell out of you and will in fact make you wonder why the heck you’d never considered how you want to die. A must read for all mere mortals * Kris Hallenga, founder of CoppaFeel! * There is no formula for navigating your way through grief, or for dealing with the death of someone and I've been told so many times that there is no manual. But Life. Death. Whatever. is about as close to a manual as you're ever going to find * Steve Bland * This book is vital – it should have been written years ago! * Charlotte Philby * a jewel of a book * Fran Hall, CEO of The Good Funeral Guide * An intelligent, thought-provoking and comprehensive roadmap through life, death, whatever. Sensitively written and absolutely clear as day. I wish this book had been around when I lost my mother * Ryan Riley * Honest, helpful and healing; the emotionally intelligent guide to demystifying death, so we can live better lives * Rosa Hoskins * Practical, uplifting advice ... a manual for life and living – and embracing everything that life has to offer. Including the end. * Country & Town House * A fascinating book … something every single one of us needs ... I’ve never read a book like this before * Jo Good, Radio 2 * A fantastic resource * Georgina Godwin, Monocle * The conversation is open and honest and I don’t think I have read any other book that will have taught me as much as this one. * Katie Hickey, Tipping the Balance Podcast * This should be required reading for all the living. * Booklist * Rare guidance through the minefield of talking to children about death ... directives about what to say or how to listen to someone is in mourning ... provide a toolbox for conversations in which we are likely to flounder. Sections such as these will ensure that We All Know How This Ends remains on my reference-book shelf. * TLS *