The Boy Crisis

  Introduction My Personal Journey into The Boy Crisis   PART I: Is There Really a Boy Crisis? 1 The Crisis of Our Sons’ Mental Health   2 The Crisis of Our Sons’ Physical Health   3 The Crisis of Our Sons’ Economic Health   4 The Crisis of Our Sons’ Education   5 The Crisis of Our Sons Worldwide   6 Why Are We So Blind to the Boy Crisis?   PART II: Why the Boy Crisis Isn’t Your Fault 7 The Boy Crisis: A Problem Created by a Solution   PART III: The Purpose Void 8 The Path-to-Purpose Generation Gap The Power of Purpose “I never thought you cared enough to ask.” Your Son’s Unconscious Wisdom Can a “Real Man” Transition from Provider–Protector to Nurturer–Connector?   9 The “Hero Paradox”: Value Yourself by Not Valuing Yourself A Hero with a Thousand Faces The Sirens of Social Bribes Social bribes: Mom, men, the media, the military The Catch-22 of Your Son-as-Hero   10 Why Do More Marriages Fail in Countries That Succeed? The father’s catch-22 The Era of the Multi-Option Mom and the No-Option Dad How Did Our Daughters Avoid the Purpose Void? “Sorry, It’s a Boy”          11 How Raising Our Sons Successfully in the Past Differs from Raising Our Sons Successfully for Their Future Making Money Versus Making a Difference How to Guide Different Boys Toward Different Senses of Purpose Our Sons’ New Sense of Purpose: The Hero’s Journey to Emotional Intelligence Son-Dropping   12 Raising a Balanced Son in an Out-of-Balance World What Happened to Pick-Up Team Sports? Helping Your Son Find His “Edge” Filling Your Son’s Purpose Void: Your Son as Hero   PART IV: Dad-Deprived Boys vs. Dad-Enriched Boys 13 Dad-Deprived Boys Boys Who Hurt, Hurt Us The Lost Boys: Mass shooters ISIS: A gang of dad-deprived boys? Bio Dad: The Discovery of the Dad Brain Careers Are for Now; Children Are Forever The Absence of Dad Creates the Presence of Government   14 Why Are Dads So Important? Let Me Count the Ways   15 Rediscovering Dad The Generation of the Dad Rich Versus the Dad Poor When Does Dad Begin to Matter? Stepdad or Bio Dad: Does it Make a Difference?   16 What Dads Do Differently Boundary Enforcement (Versus Boundary Setting) Exploring Nature, Taking Risks Roughhousing: Dad as a Rough, Tough Cream Puff “Teachable Moments”: A Little Pain for a Lot of Gain Challenging the Kids’ Limits Hangout Time Teasing: Emotional Intelligence Training, Dad-Style? The Conditional or Hierarchical Dad The Worrier and the Warrior: The Checks and Balances of Parenting   17 In the Case of Divorce . . . The Four “Must-Dos”   18 The Father Warrior: Why Fathering Will Be a New Male Sense of Purpose com: The Father Warrior Meets the Have-It-All Woman If Men Get Paid More, Is It Realistic for a Dad to Be the Primary Parent?   19 DAD: Discrimination Against Dads “It Doesn’t Feel Right When I See Them Together” Moms Have the Right to Children, Dads Have to Fight for Children How Did Father Knows Best Become Father Knows Less? Guiding Your Son to “Make a Difference”   20 The Best Parent is Both Parents, But . . . The Best “Parent” is an Attitude Shift Fighting in front of the kids No one asked why the men were drinking Cheap fun for dad and son Dad-inspiring movies When the Best “Parent” Cannot Be Both Parents The Cub Scouts and character Mentoring and rite-of-passage programs Grandfather time When the biological father is missing, can God the Father help?   21 From “Cultural Shrug” to Cultural Shift Kill Today, Love Tomorrow: The Military Dad Dilemma From Father’s Dime to Father’s Time The Government: As Problem, as Solution Creating a White House Council on Boys and Men Our Dads, Our Sons, Our Guns   22 Creating Dad-Enriched Families   PART V: Heroic Intelligence Versus Health Intelligence 23 Heroic Intelligence Versus Health Intelligence Biologically, Girls Just Live Longer, Right? Social Bribes: Hollywood—Heroic Health Versus Mental and Physical Health Does the new heroine mean your son won’t have to risk his life for her love? Health Intelligence Inventory Boys’ Weakness as Their Facade of Strength Your Son’s Body, Not His Choice “First and ten, concussion again!” My son wants to join the military. Is this good news or bad news? Your Son’s Body, Your Son’s Choice: Resisting the Sirens of Social Bribes   24 Emotional Intelligence and Mental Health The Barriers to a Boy’s Emotional Intelligence Behind Your Son’s Mask “I’m fine . . . Just leave me alone.” Helping your son take risks in life without risking his life How Heroic Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence Play Out in Everyday Life Moving to better neighborhoods helps girls and hurts boys The bully and the bullied Helping both the bully and the bullied Eighteen Steps Toward Integrating Emotional and Physical Health Intelligence into Heroic Intelligence   25 Reversing Depression, Preventing Suicide Causes of Suicide Women cry, men die If no human doing, no human being Suicide is contagious Diagnosing Danger: The Warren Farrell Male Depression/Suicide Inventory (WFMDI) Preventing Suicide   26  Hidden Hazards to Your Son’s Health The “Sperm Crisis”: To Be, or Not to Be Drinking and Drugs The Unholy Trinity: Obesity, Diabetes, and Erectile Dysfunction   27 From Hurt People Hurting People to Healed People Healing People Refilling the Empathy Void Couples’ Communication: Your Children’s Best Inheritance   PART VI: ADHD: Treatment With or Without Medication 28 The New Neural Crisis A New Spin on ADHD   29 The Four Faces of ADHD   30 The Many Causes of ADHD Addressing the Cause to Heal the Brain   31 Natural Solutions to Restore Dopamine Function   32 Natural Supplements for Better Brain Performance   Conclusion Your Mission: Guiding Your Son to Discover His Mission Extending Gender Liberation to Dads From Cultural Shrug to Cultural Mission: A Gender Liberation Movement   Appendix A: Family Dinner Night: The Five Essentials Appendix B: The Boy Crisis List: The Benefits of Dad, the Dangers of Dad Deprivation Bibliography   Acknowledgments About the Authors