Marriage Material

"“Marriage Material is a well-written, original work which puts forth a new argument about same-sex marriage that differs from the dominant view . . . . [some of] the best and most nuanced treatment of non-monogamy among same-sex couples that I have read.” -- Andrew Cherlin, author of 'The Marriage Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today' ""Mae West famously declared that while marriage is a great institution, she was not ready for an institution. Abigail Ocobock’s Marriage Material takes seriously this declaration by uncovering what it means for marriage to be an institution, why some are ready for it and others are drawn into it, and why marriage persists even as family life has changed so radically across the globe. Drawing on in-depth interviews with 116 individuals who entered into a same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, legal in the state since 2003 but still not recognized federally at the time of the interviews, this beautifully written book offers compelling evidence of the lessons to be learned about marriage during a period of transformation that is tempered by the power of institutions. The takeaway: the more things change, the more they stay the same."" -- Melanie Heath, author of 'Forbidden Intimacies: Polygamies at the Limits of Western Tolerance' ""Marriage Material compellingly shows how the expansion of marital rights shapes and strengthens same-sex relationships and marriage as an institution. Abigail Ocobock’s sensitive and incisive analysis of the normative, regulative, and cultural elements of marriage—especially as they are experienced by same-sex couples—offers a much-needed corrective to both academic and public assumptions regarding the contemporary state of marriage."" -- Brian Powell, Indiana University ""Marriage Material is a new and important contribution to our understanding of the remarkably enduring power of the institution of marriage. Drawing on over one hundred interviews with LGBQ people, Sociologist Abigail Ocobock offers a timely view of the interplay between the institutional constraints of long-standing marriage culture, and same-sex couples’ agency in making marriage work on their terms. As a guide to the age of marriage equality in the 21st century U.S., Ocobock shows that even when LGBQ people have a diversity of marriage desires and aspirations, they still are deeply influenced by – and at times challenge – norms of marital life. Ocobock’s captivating narratives and rigorous research offers fresh insights into the evolving landscape of marriage, highlighting the resilience of this enduring institution, even as its meaning and practice may look a little bit different."" -- Rin Reczek, co-author of 'Families We Keep: LGBTQ People and Their Enduring Bonds with Parents' ""If you thought that marriage is passé, an institution in decline, think again. Marriage Material explores how younger generations of LGB people who have always had access to same-sex marriage compare to older generations denied the opportunity to marry their same-sex partner. While the marriage embracers aspired to be part of an institution that was once a pipe dream for them, the rejectors saw marriage as a system of constraint and conformity that stymied queer creativity. Despite these varying orientations toward marriage, Ocobock’s careful, nuanced analysis demonstrates the myriad ways that access to marriage has transformed how people envision their relationships and the criteria by which they assess the quality of those relationships."" -- Mary Bernstein, University of Connecticut"