An Autoethnography of Queer Invisibility: On Shame, Passing, and Identity Suicide

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David Purnell

An Autoethnography of Queer Invisibility

On Shame, Passing, and Identity Suicide

David Purnell

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English

Routledge
11 March 2025

Gay & Lesbian studies; Psychology

Series: Writing Lives: Ethnographic Narratives

This book recounts a personal journey of self-acceptance, focusing on the author's creation and reliance of a persona (Paul D. Drevlin) as a defense mechanism against societal and familial pressures.

Beginning with a childhood marked by traumatic events, the author begins his desire of invisibility, later adopting the persona of Drevlin to navigate societal expectations and challenges, including his struggles with identity, sexuality, and religious conservatism. This book explores how the persona initially provided protection, safety, and acceptance but ultimately led to the self-realization that it was more of a prisoner than a protector.

The aim of this book is to open discussion regarding the shifts in acceptance experienced by the LGBTQ+ community over the years. It underscores the importance of family (whether that be birth family or family of choice) and peer support, community acceptance, and the changing dynamics of LGBTQ+ landscapes. The book also aims to stress the significance of fostering an inclusive society and respecting the diverse identities of individuals, advocating for understanding, empathy, and collective efforts toward equality and acceptance.

Suitable for students studying LGBTQ+ studies, gender studies, sociology, psychology, social work, and creative writing, this book will also appeal to non-academic readers who may find the cultural and family themes significant to their own lives.

By: David Purnell
Imprint: Routledge
Country of Publication: United Kingdom
Dimensions: Height: 234mm, Width: 156mm,
Weight: 350g
ISBN: 9781032971049
ISBN 10: 1032971045
Series: Writing Lives: Ethnographic Narratives
Pages: 180
Publication Date: 11 March 2025
Audience: General/trade , College/higher education , ELT Advanced , Primary
Format: Paperback
Publisher's Status: Active

Author’s Note Overview Section I. Disappearing and Hiding 1. The Urge to Disappear 2. Hiding Behind My Persona Section II. Developing Drevlin 3. Becoming Drevlin 4. Back to Smalltown America 5. My Awakening Section III. Running Away 6. Uncle Sam Wants You 7. To All the Men I Have Been Before Section IV. Trying to Find Myself 8. Becoming the Proud Queer: Attempt One 9. Becoming the Proud Queer: Attempt Two 10. Back to Smalltown America, Again! 11. Becoming the Proud Queer: Attempt Three Section V. Living My Life 12. Living My Best Life 13. Returning to Academe 14. Living In Washington 15. Drevlin is a Part of Me Epilogue End Notes References

David F. Purnell is a visiting professor at Western Washington University in Bellingham, WA, where he teaches a specialty class on Communicating Identity and Difference. His publications are mostly related to the focus of this book—issues of identity and shame. David lives in Tacoma, WA, and enjoys exploring the beauty of the Pacific Northwest through his daily walking with and in the various landscapes offered to him.