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Bait & Switch

Saving Your Relationship After Incredible Romance Turns Into Exhausting Chaos

Megan Hunter

$29.99

Paperback

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English
HCI Press
30 June 2015
Some romantic relationships simply go sour. This book is not for them. Instead, it is for people stuck in high-conflict relationships. This is the relationship with a tantalizing beginning complete with charm, fun, ease, sensuality, and sexiness, that abruptly turns into one of confusion, dread, despair, and even violence. There is no good exit strategy or staying strategy.

In sales terminology, this type of relationship would be considered bait and switch.

People with high-conflict personalities (HCPs) have a different operating system in romantic relationships. They unwittingly crave and work hard to be in one, but sabotage it. Some may have a form of Borderline Personality Disorder. The other partner enters into the relationship because it is the best, but eventually lands in lengthy and expensive battles over anything and everything.

In this first-of-its-kind book, Megan Hunter addresses the patterns and thoughts from both sides without placing blame or casting judgment. Based on hundreds of interviews with people in high-conflict relationships, seeing the destruction of families in her policy work in family law, and feedback from lawyers, psychologists, and mediators who work with these couples, it is an inside look at ""his"" thoughts and ""her"" thoughts, their unconscious interactions, and step-by-step staying or exiting strategies.

Megan Hunter is a leading expert and speaker on high-conflict personalities who trains legal and mental health professionals. After helping shape policies to improve family law through the Arizona Supreme Court, she co-founded the High Conflict Institute with author Bill Eddy, who developed the high-conflict personality theory.
By:  
Imprint:   HCI Press
Country of Publication:   United States
Dimensions:   Height: 215mm,  Width: 139mm,  Spine: 15mm
Weight:   212g
ISBN:   9781936268702
ISBN 10:   1936268701
Pages:   160
Publication Date:  
Audience:   General/trade ,  ELT Advanced
Format:   Paperback
Publisher's Status:   Active
Part 1 Understanding the Relationship Brain Chapter 1 Trajectory from Incredible Romance to Exhausting Chaos Chapter 2 The Relationship Operating System: It's ""Complicated"" Chapter 3 The Complicated Operating System: Desperate Need for Relationships Chapter 4 The Complicated Operating System: Behavior Within the Relationship Chapter 5 The Complicated OS Brain in the Complicated Relationship Chapter 6 Wrapping Your Head Around Your New Reality Part 2 Creating a New Environment to Mange the Relationship Chapter 7 Establish a Threat-Reduced Environment Chapter 8 Get Unhooked Chapter 9 Relationship Management: Connecting Chapter 10 Relationship Management: Shifting Chapter 11 Be a Complicated Code Cracker Chapter 12 Addressing Other Concerns and Unique Questions

Megan Hunter is a leading expert and international speaker on the topic of high-conflict relationships -- the most difficult of ""difficult"" relationships. After many years training family court judges, lawyers, mediators and mental health professionals, she's added the focus of helping people in high-conflict relationships learn to manage them or strategies to exit with less collateral damage. She has trained professionals across the U.S., Canada and extensively throughout Australia. Megan is CEO and founder of Life Unhooked, a training and consulting company; Unhooked Books, an online bookstore specializing in conflict resolution; and publisher at High Conflict Institute Press. She was co-founder of the High Conflict Institute along with author and speaker, Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. who developed the high-conflict personality theory. Megan developed the concept of the Institute after 13 years in family law as the Family Law Specialist with the Arizona Supreme Court, and Child Support Manager of the Dawes County Attorney's Office in Nebraska. Megan has trained legal, mental health, business, leadership groups, universities and other professionals across the United States, Canada and Australia in the area of high-conflict legal disputes. Her background includes policy formation, research and program development regarding court processes child support protocols and parent education programs, as well as developing expertise regarding international child custody disputes. As staff to the Arizona Legislature's Domestic Relations and Child Support Committees she gained a broad understanding of the issues facing both families and professionals in family law. She holds an M.B.A. from the University of Phoenix and a Bachelor's of Business and Economics from Chadron State College, Chadron, Nebraska. She served as President of the Arizona Chapter of the Association of Family & Conciliation Courts, the Arizona Family Support Council and Nebraska Child Support Enforcement Association. More recently, she served 5 years on the Arizona Board of Psychologist Examiners and as Vice President of the non-profit organization, Personality Disorder Awareness Network. She was given the Outstanding Contribution Award from the Arizona Association of Family & Conciliation Courts in 2010 and the Friend of Psychology Award from the Arizona Psychological Association in 2006. She lives in Arizona and is married with three children and five stepchildren.

Reviews for Bait & Switch: Saving Your Relationship After Incredible Romance Turns Into Exhausting Chaos

In her book Bait & Switch, Megan Hunter addresses an important facet of parental relationships, and of our society in general: How can we handle, survive, and even thrive in relationships with a very difficult partner? That is, with partners who may be very attractive in some ways, yet have a personality skewed by a fear-based, threat-based view of the world. This personality issue renders relationships very challenging. Based on her years of experience in this field, Megan proposes an effective and simple strategy based on `connecting, shifting, honesty, and consequences.' Connect with the emotional brain (right) to control the fire. Then shift to the analytic brain (left) to activate the thinking. This is something that we can all do and practice. Thank you Megan for articulating such a clear strategy that will help many of us. --Frederic Bien, PhD, President, Personality Disorder Awareness Network (pdan.org) With extraordinary insight, Megan Hunter provides clear and usable strategies and skills for ending the chaos of high conflict relationships. Backed up by science, she provides the reader a detailed prescription for turning around behaviors and relationship patterns for the better. If you want to save your relationship, this book will show you how. If your relationship cannot be saved, this book will help you understand why, and provide you the groundwork for co-parenting after divorce and better relationships in the future, if that is where your path leads. This is a valuable piece of work. --Angie Hallier, Divorce Attorney, Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and author of The Wiser Divorce - Positive Strategies for your Next Best Life Wondering, `How did I get here?' In her exceptional book, Bait & Switch, international speaker Megan Hunter provides meaningful insight for people who sailed into love on a wave of excitement only to find themselves living inside a storm. This book is a must-read for anyone in love with a person with borderline personality traits making meaning out of the chaos while bringing skills and hope in an ocean of despair. --Lynne Kenney, PsyD,pediatric psychologist, international educator, and author of The Family Coach Method and Bloom: 50 Things to Say, Think, and Do to Help Anxious, Angry, and Over-the-Top Kids Megan Hunter has successfully tackled one of the biggest topics of today: What do you do when your great relationship turns into a struggle? She gives numerous practical tips on what you can do and how to influence your partner. She combines her experience and observations from working with hundreds of couples as an administrator for family court systems and as a business manager, to give the reader encouragement- and hope! --Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., president of the High Conflict Institute, and author of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder and So, What's Your Proposal? In her book Bait & Switch, Megan Hunter addresses an important facet of parental relationships, and of our society in general: How can we handle, survive, and even thrive in relationships with a very difficult partner? That is, with partners who may be very attractive in some ways, yet have a personality skewed by a fear-based, threat-based view of the world. This personality issue renders relationships very challenging. Based on her years of experience in this field, Megan proposes an effective and simple strategy based on 'connecting, shifting, honesty, and consequences.' Connect with the emotional brain (right) to control the fire. Then shift to the analytic brain (left) to activate the thinking. This is something that we can all do and practice. Thank you Megan for articulating such a clear strategy that will help many of us. --Frederic Bien, PhD, President, Personality Disorder Awareness Network (pdan.org) With extraordinary insight, Megan Hunter provides clear and usable strategies and skills for ending the chaos of high conflict relationships. Backed up by science, she provides the reader a detailed prescription for turning around behaviors and relationship patterns for the better. If you want to save your relationship, this book will show you how. If your relationship cannot be saved, this book will help you understand why, and provide you the groundwork for co-parenting after divorce and better relationships in the future, if that is where your path leads. This is a valuable piece of work. --Angie Hallier, Divorce Attorney, Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and author of The Wiser Divorce Positive Strategies for your Next Best Life Wondering, 'How did I get here?' In her exceptional book, Bait & Switch, international speaker Megan Hunter provides meaningful insight for people who sailed into love on a wave of excitement only to find themselves living inside a storm. This book is a must-read for anyone in love with a person with borderline personality traits making meaning out of the chaos while bringing skills and hope in an ocean of despair. --Lynne Kenney, PsyD,pediatric psychologist, international educator, and author of The Family Coach Method and Bloom: 50 Things to Say, Think, and Do to Help Anxious, Angry, and Over-the-Top Kids Megan Hunter has successfully tackled one of the biggest topics of today: What do you do when your great relationship turns into a struggle? She gives numerous practical tips on what you can do and how to influence your partner. She combines her experience and observations from working with hundreds of couples as an administrator for family court systems and as a business manager, to give the reader encouragement and hope! --Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., president of the High Conflict Institute, and author of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder and So, What's Your Proposal?


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