The Forgiveness Tour

""Enlightening and universally relevant, the book shows us how to forgive even when it might be impossible to forget."" -Kirkus ""Susan Shapiro mixes memoir, religion, psychology and journalism to tell amazing stories of forgiveness. The tales, ranging from uplifting to unsettling, are always riveting."" -A.J. Jacobs, bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically and It's All Relative ""As a popular chronicler of bad habits and poor life decisions, Shapiro has found her best topic yet: how to confront the pain in your life caused by someone you believe owes you an apology. The Forgiveness Tour's wide-ranging tales of true heartache and gripping confrontation show readers how to find what they need to finally heal from what has been hurting them. Smart, witty and inspirational."" -Tom Reiss, Pulitzer Prize author of TheBlackCount ""A dazzling and deeply moving memoir about forgiveness, featuring dueling rabbis, Jewish guilt, and the wisdom of inspirational men and women from different religions and cultures."" -Judy Batalion, author of The Light of Days: The Untold Story of Women Resistance Fighters in Hitler's Ghettos ""Whether you're wrestling with love gone bad, the rupture of a friendship, a conflict at work or betrayal on a global scale, you'll find wisdom and solace in Susan Shapiro's entertaining and insightful account of her own search for forgiveness."" -Julie Metz, bestselling author of Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal and EvaandEve ""The Forgiveness Tour takes us on journeys to right unforgivable wrongs. Shapiro illuminates how we can heal from those who harmed us most. Powerful, intimate and profound."" -Gabrielle Selz, author of Unstill Life: A Daughter's Memoir of Art and Love in the Age of Abstraction ""Shapiro demonstrates an uncanny knack for articulating and resolving the unspoken regret of so many people. A fascinating and essential work you'll be better for reading."" -Laurence Bergreen, author of Casanova: The World of a Seductive Genius ""Fascinating and original!"" -Susan Cheever, bestselling author of Home Before Dark & Drinking in America ""Shapiro holds my eye and ear with urgency, compelling dialogue, and fresh insights into human behavior. I found The Forgiveness Tour hard to put down."" -Grace Schulman, author of Strange Paradise and Without a Claim ""A timely and captivating memoir about grudges, fallibility, and the loneliest phrase in the English language: I'm sorry. "" --David Goodwillie, author of King's County ""I read everything Susan Shapiro writes. The Forgiveness Tour is electric, sad, funny and beautiful."" -Cat Marnell, bestselling author of How To Murder Your Life From Publisher's Weekly, January 2021 The Forgiveness Tour: How to Find the Perfect Apology Susan Shapiro. Skyhorse, $22.99 (264p) ISBN 978-1-510-76271-8 Journalist Shapiro (Lighting Up) chronicles her search for ways to heal after a devastating betrayal in this magnificent work. Her previous memoir recounted her successful therapy with addiction specialist Daniel Winters. Here, she wrestles with the revelation that their 15-year therapeutic relationship was founded on lies, when she finds out he's been treating someone she'd asked him not to see. Winters's refusal to explain or show remorse infuriated her and led her to set out on a quest to determine how to forgive someone who won't apologize. Shapiro interviews colleagues, students, and religious leaders to probe universal questions around hurt, absolution, and contrition. Analyzing Jesus's plea, ""Father forgive them, for they know not what they do,"" a Presbyterian minister posits that ""forgiving can get you out of pain."" A colleague tells her, ""Jewish law requires a person to ask heartfelt forgiveness three times,"" and that ""if the injured party won't respond...the non-forgiver has to seek forgiveness for not forgiving."" A Hindu guru, meanwhile, warns that an ""angry grudge... burns your own heart first."" Their wisdom moves her to realize ""how small my saga was"" and to forgive Winters (who apologized first). By blending these stories with her own experiences and writing with insight, humor, and grace, Shapiro's elegant survey becomes one largely about plumbing the boundless depths of the human heart. This is essential reading. (Jan.)